Back To Top

That's Detective Inspector to you
Navigation About Headcanons Face Thoughts from the Tapeworm Drabbles Important Info Relationships
DI Bruce Robertson - best fucking polis officer in this dump.

“That’s the beauty aboot being polis: it doesnae really matter whether or not everybody hates you, as long as they’re civil tae your face and can put up a good front. You can only live in the world you ken. The rest is just wishful thinking or paranoia."

((Independant Bruce Robertson RP from the Irvine Welsh novel 'Filth' - Bruce can be pretty offensive, please read important info. Mun & Mus 18+ - no gifs/images are mine unless stated. Click top right link for navigation, or find the other quick links down the side.

Tracking 'brucerobertsondi'))

1

2

3

consultingsister:

"Well it’s like… good for your nails," she frowned, not sure about it either. But the nail polish is amazing, like it doesn’t chip a little bit, she’s super happy about it. "How good do I look in the picture though?"

"Is it though? Or is it all bollocks. It sounds like fuckin’ bollocks te me." He looked at the photo for a moment, making a mental note to show Lennox as a reminder that his girlfriend was no where near as pretty. "Ye look beautiful darlin, perfect."

"Do you think I would create and back a bullshit product? Do you think so little of me?" Her eyebrows furry, looking up at his face instead of the picture. She’s only half teasing you know. "Thanks pal."

"It’s fuckin’ food in nail polish. It’s go’ no business in there. But wha’ de I fuckin’ know." He shrugged happily, he’d given up reasoning with Cecelia’s job, it was never going to make a shred of sense to him. "You  been enjoyin’ sittin around lookin’ at people walk up and down all week then? Ye were all mardy that ye couldna go te New York."



4 days ago

consultingsister:

"Well you’re a horrible old man, and I don’t love you at all," she grinned, every word brought her closer and closer to his face, an arm hooking around his neck.  

"Oh yeah? You look really fuckin’ reluctant." He held her arm as she draped it around him, pointing to her advert in the magazine on the floor. "Tell me this, how the fuck de ye put vegetables in fuckin’ nail polish?"

"Well it’s like… good for your nails," she frowned, not sure about it either. But the nail polish is amazing, like it doesn’t chip a little bit, she’s super happy about it. "How good do I look in the picture though?"

"Is it though? Or is it all bollocks. It sounds like fuckin’ bollocks te me." He looked at the photo for a moment, making a mental note to show Lennox as a reminder that his girlfriend was no where near as pretty. "Ye look beautiful darlin, perfect."



4 days ago

# IKR i want it

consultingsister:

She laughed, pausing to kiss him, “no, that’s me.”

“Oh aye!” He laughed and ruffled her immaculate hair over her eyes. “Yer a witch you, but we still love you.”

"Well you’re a horrible old man, and I don’t love you at all," she grinned, every word brought her closer and closer to his face, an arm hooking around his neck.  

"Oh yeah? You look really fuckin’ reluctant." He held her arm as she draped it around him, pointing to her advert in the magazine on the floor. "Tell me this, how the fuck de ye put vegetables in fuckin’ nail polish?"



4 days ago

# BRUCE IS DEEPLY UPSET BY ALEXA'S NAIL KALE ADS

consultingsister:

"No, I know you’re a grumpy old man."

"Oi you, ah’m a ray of fuckin’ sunshine."

She laughed, pausing to kiss him, “no, that’s me.”

“Oh aye!” He laughed and ruffled her immaculate hair over her eyes. “Yer a witch you, but we still love you.”



4 days ago

consultingsister:

"Probably do already, the only other photo is of you giggling over Eliza."

"See, ah’m a wonderful, cheerful husband me."

"No, I know you’re a grumpy old man."

"Oi you, ah’m a ray of fuckin’ sunshine."



4 days ago

consultingsister:

"Your followers all think ah’m lovely and yer a sour faced cow now."

"Probably do already, the only other photo is of you giggling over Eliza."

"See, ah’m a wonderful, cheerful husband me."



4 days ago

# I HAZ LAPTOP

icathier:

Icathiers favourite movies: Filth [ 2013Dir. Jon S Baird

I think they’ve left me. I think my family have left me. I don’t know how. I can’t remember why. You see, there’s something wrong with me. There is something seriously wrong with me.



4 days ago

# fc

weareguardians:

Weareguardians List of Favourite Movies: Filth (2013) | Dir. Jon S Baird

"The games are always, repeat always, bering played. But nobody plays the games like me." 


4 days ago

consultingsister:

 

"Of course, you know how much I love killing people with you."

"I should worry how keen ye are te de these things - but weirdly ah’m not."

"Is it because the idea of me killing people turns you on? That’s twisted Bruce, you’re sick."

"Oh aye. But we cannae kill Amanda, ah’d be the first fucking suspect."



1 month ago

consultingsister:

brucerobertson-di:

 

"Fine, I’m on your side, of course you should be looking after Eliza."

" Ah fuckin’ hate that woman. Hey, fancy helpin’ me bump her off?"

"Of course, you know how much I love killing people with you."

"I should worry how keen ye are te de these things - but weirdly ah’m not."



1 month ago

consultingsister:

 

"I’m not on anyones sides, and I’ve got a job!!"

"Ah know ye have a job, but yer defiantly meant te be on my side."

"Fine, I’m on your side, of course you should be looking after Eliza."

" Ah fuckin’ hate that woman. Hey, fancy helpin’ me bump her off?"



1 month ago

consultingsister:

 

"You don’t look after your daughter, that’s what I do all day."

Oh, terribly sorry that ah’ve got a job and ah’m no’ some dole scum. Yer meant te be on my side you ken.

"I’m not on anyones sides, and I’ve got a job!!"

"Ah know ye have a job, but yer defiantly meant te be on my side."



1 month ago

consultingsister:

brucerobertson-di:

"Amanda fucking Drummond had the nerve te tell me that I shouldnae be looking after ma own daughter. Stupid cunt couldnae keep her shite HR opinions the herself if we sewed those ugly lips shut." 

"You don’t look after your daughter, that’s what I do all day."

Oh, terribly sorry that ah’ve got a job and ah’m no’ some dole scum. Yer meant te be on my side you ken.


1 month ago